Beauty In The Breakdown
by kebarrera
Summary: She had lost the 2 most important things in her life and she hadn't figured out how to cope. How does she begin to heal when she knew she was the reason he left. Will he finally return to her? TxG oneshot.


Its funny how one moment in your life can change how you see the world. One minutes its spinning perfectly fine on its axis and the next everything is spewed everywhere into a place unknown.

One minute you were happy and the next, you were so far down into a whole you didn't know any way out. What do you do then? When everything is going downhill and you have no idea how to get out.

That's how Gabriella felt.

The life she expected was not turning out so well. She had a loving boyfriend – but that was 1 year ago—and a happy family—but that was 2 years ago. Now she was just down to herself and anyone else that would take a chance on her.

She grew up in a small quaint town outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico. She had a traditional life some may say. She went to school until she was 18 and graduated with honors. She had both a loving mother and father who took care of her every day, whether it was raining –figuratively and literally—or sunny.

She met her first true love at the age of 17 running through town. Her mom had asked her to get some butter and milk from the store so she could make some cake for dessert and she had reluctantly agreed. While going through the check out line, the bagger took a slight interest in her.

And although that was never a good way to meet your first love, meeting Troy Bolton that way was the best way imaginable. Looking back on it now, she loved the gaze he threw her way when she was standing in line and the subtle, yet cocky way he took the receipt he needed to give her and wrote down his number and cautiously threw a wink her way.

She didn't know at the time that he would evolve into her first true love but she took a chance on him. 2 days after receiving the receipt she called him up and asked him what he saw in her. He told her he saw how full of life she could be and how just looking at her, he knew he wanted to get to know her more.

She vaguely remembered telling him he probably did that to all the hot girls he saw coming through his store but he told her quietly; 'no babe, only you' and her heart began to race.

That was the beginning of their relationship.

Troy Bolton was 20 and Gabriella was 17. He was quite a few years older than her but she didn't mind it much. They had evolved into a couple who were inseparable when they were together and combined, they could have taken on the world.

As the years grew by, she fell more in love.

And then the tragic accident occurred. It was 2 in the morning when a restless Gabriella awoke from her sleep to hear the obnoxious ring throughout the house. She climbed over Troy to get the phone and tiredly whispered hello into the phone.

The gasp she let out did not go unheard by Troy. He slowly opened his eyes to see his girlfriend holding the phone to her ear as tears trickled down her face. He hurriedly sat up as he cradled her in his arms and whispered sweet nothings into her ears.

The other end of the phone was Dr. Monahan. He was informing her that her parents had been hit head on by a drunk driver coming home from Montana. They had taken a 2 week trip to visit Gabriella's grandparents up there because they hadn't seen them in quite awhile.

As it would to anyone, the news came as a shock that both parents were killed on impact. What was a 22 year old supposed to do now? How was she supposed to cope with the loss of her parents? It hadn't sunk in when she heard the news and 4 years later, the reality that they were gone was still a shock to her.

As she slowly took in the news, the more she was willing to push anyone who was ever close to her away. She didn't want to be close to anyone in fear of killing or hurting them. And that was when Troy felt the heartbreak he slowly knew was coming his way. He tried to be there for her, pushing and pushing for her to let him in but every time she would slowly back away and leave him to fend for himself.

And although it was the hardest decision he ever had to make, he chose the one that would eventually cause him the most pain. He chose basketball. He left her in the middle of the breakdown.

And who could blame him really? He didn't think she felt for him like she used to, although every day he told himself if he kept trying, she would always come back. But she never did.

Because she never came back to him, never opened herself up to him, he assumed she didn't need him anymore. He assumed that she would do just fine on her own. He assumed that without him, she would become the greatest she would ever become, because he wasn't there to hold her back. He assumed a lot of things, this one being the worst of them all.

So he left. He packed up all his things and headed out to the airport at 2 in the morning to become part of the Los Angeles Lakers, leaving the love of his life behind. And she stayed, wrapped up in a pillow that he slowly gave to her in the pretense that it was his body, with a soaking note—from his tears—on the bedside table.

She woke up the next day and then realization hit her. Her world was slowly falling apart.

---

Now a year after he had disappeared, she was hauled up in her office, waiting for the article she was supposed to write to magically appear in front of her eyes.

She sighed despondently and grabbed a coffee from a near by coffee machine. It was then that she heard the click clacking of heels coming her way. Gabriella slowly poured the coffee in hopes that Sharpay would think she was busy and would not bother her. She was wrong.

"How are you holding up?" asked the blonde bombshell. She was wearing a black skirt with a white button up shirt tucked in. She had on her signature shoes, with the black and brown cheetah print emblazoned on them.

"I'm fine" Gabriella said.

"You don't look to hot." Sharpay said flatly. Gabriella only shrugged and walked passed her to get back to the article she was writing.

"You need to get out of the house more." The blonde said bluntly, leaning against the cubicle that Gabriella was assigned to.

"You're not the first person that has told me that." Gabriella muttered distractedly returning to the article.

Sharpay sighed, inviting herself into the cubicle and leaning against her desk. "What are we going to do with you?" Sharpay asked honestly. Gabriella shrugged again, wondering the exact same thing.

She wanted out of his mess. She wanted to fix this thing that she had gotten herself into. The 'what ifs' were piling up in her mind every day. Of things she could or could not change. Of things she could of done differently.

She could of went after him.

She could of not pushed him away as forcefully as she did.

She could of somehow prevented her parents from crashing.

But somehow she knew that she could do nothing because all of these events had passed her by and now there was no use of trying anymore.

Only go on with life.

But how could she do that when she didn't know where to begin? How to start over when your heart is breaking and crumbling into millions of pieces around you? How do you start over when you can't think straight or get the motivation to begin anew. You just deal with it and try to move on.

But dealing was no way to help her. It only made her sink even deeper and deeper into this depression she had slowly begun to embrace. This depression that was slowly starting to make her deteriorate from the world.

Now she was thoroughly living in the past, waiting for her what if's to become a reality. And surely, she told herself, they would come true one day.

She got home that evening and placed her belongings on the desk next to the door and crumbled into the sofa with a box of Ben & Jerry's in her lap. She slowly scooped up the contents into her mouth as she flipped through the channels on the television, waiting for something to catch her interest.

She landed on ESPN and saw her love dribbling down the court, passing the ball to another player and watching him score.

"_And Troy Bolton helps assist another layout. This boy is on a roll. I wonder where he came from?" _An announcer said.

The other announcer came back with "_I think he came from a little town outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico if I'm not mistaken." _And all Gabriella could do was stare at the smile that graced the boy on the screen. He looked like he was living it up.

And she broke some more.

---

Her routine was simple. Get up, take a shower and head off to work. She would work the long excruciating eight hours in the office and would return home to sit on the couch, watch television until nine and then go to sleep and wake up and do it all over again.

It was the routine she fell into after he left.

Every day, she would go back to that fateful day that he had disappeared and find some way to make him stay. She could change, couldn't she? She really could. Every day she really thought she could bring him back.

But it was the thought that he wouldn't want her back was what kept her from chasing him. The fear of rejection had always unnerved her and this was no other situation. She couldn't handle that. What if he didn't want her? What if he felt that basketball and his career were way too important? Something over her.

---

He woke up every day, regretting the decision he made. The decision to leave his first love, first and only true love really. He woke up, thought about her, got ready for either a practice or game, and then thought about her some more. Each day was filled with regret.

He should of tried.

Things could have been different.

He could have changed her. Helped her see that there was more to the world then she presumably thought there was.

He could of done something.

But he chose to run. He couldn't handle the rejection every day that she gave him. He couldn't handle being pushed away day after day. And albeit, it was a good reason, she had just lost her parents, he couldn't handle it.

So he ran.

He did the only thing he thought was logical at the moment.

And each day he regretted it.

He pulled the practice jersey over his head and put on his shoes and left his apartment to get down to the arena where they were held practices. When he got there, the space was deserted, as it was only seven in the morning and no one would show up until eight. He picked up a basket from the rack and threw it towards the net.

Perfect.

At least one thing in his life was, he thought discouragingly.

He dribbled the ball and did many plays throughout that morning, until his teammates showed up. He did more drills with them there, getting direction from there coach as well. He smiled, although unwillingly, and laughing, unwillingly as well. Troy Bolton knew how to please people. He knew how to put up a front.

Even though he was miserable on the inside, he could prove many people wrong with his outward appearances. He could give you a smile, although fake, and people would believe it.

But no one ever paid close enough attention to his eyes. His eyes were another story, if you could look in them, you could see he was drowning in misery, but not many people took the time to notice.

They just noticed the hotshot basketball player who was a great starting forward for the Los Angeles Lakers.

The season was coming to an end soon. The Lakers had gone through a dry spell where they weren't winning many games. People had hope that they would come back and be able to win the series this year but once again, the dry spell continued. They weren't going to make it to the playoffs. Troy could already tell.

A few days passed and the ending game of the season was quickly approaching. Even though Troy knew this game would do nothing for his season, he gave it his all as they went into the final game. He scored 23 points on his own and assisted many others.

As the game ended, he saw the many wives and girlfriends jump from the stands to support their husbands and boyfriends in the loss of yet another game. And he remembered when Gabriella used to be there for him, even when he was just going through school and working at a local grocer's market to get money for college.

And the thought that he would never have that again affected his heart. He broke into millions of pieces. Not just that he wouldn't have that, but because he was the cause of that.

He was the cause of the reason he would never see that gorgeous face.

He was the cause of the reason he would never be able to her hold her in his arms.

He was the cause of never being able to put that sparkle back in her eye.

He was the cause of a lot of the things he would never be able to enjoy.

But as he saw his teammate lean over and intimately kiss his wife, he knew what he had to do.

And it was that, he did.

---

She opened the door of her apartment and did the same thing she always did. She sat down her purse by the table by the door and headed to the kitchen. She grabbed a couple of snacks and sat down at the couch.

The night before, she watched intently as Troy lost the game he was playing and that equaled the season ending for his team. She was crushed that it wasn't working out for him. But she was crushed even more that he didn't know she was still supporting him. Even though she was still so far away.

She was so caught up in the memory of the night before; she didn't hear the light knock on the door.

It was when she heard the constant knocking begin, she got off the couch and shyly opened the door. What she didn't expect was to see the person on the other side of the door.

What she also didn't expect was to be bombarded with kisses as he came into the apartment. He grabbed her face in his hands as he deepened the kiss. She was so shocked at first but as the kisses got deeper and more passionate, she returned the kisses as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

She finally pulled back, breathing hard. "You're real right?" she asked, in a state of awe.

He looked into her espresso colored eyed and could do the only thing he could think of, kissed her once more with more passion encrusted in it. "Does that say something?" he asked as he pulled back.

She only nodded hesitantly. "So I'm not dreaming?" she asked quietly, not wanting to wake up from this dream she thought she was having. If she were to wake up, the way her heart was, she would be breaking some more.

"No" he whispered back, staring into her eyes.

She played with the hairs on the back of his neck. "I've missed you." She said, pulling him closer to her and pecking him on the lips.

"God, you don't know how much I have missed you." He stated, rubbing her back, thankful that she was still in his arms. At this point, he would of expected her to slap him and push him out the door, not being able to forgive him for leaving. He would of accepted it as he did bring this on himself. Instead, he got the love he desperately needed. Something he couldn't complain about.

She slowly leaned and kissed him passionately. He lifted the shirt off her body and she did the same to his. He lifted her up so she was straddling his waist as he carried her to her—their— bedroom. He slowly set her down as he climbed on top of her, kissing her lips, then down her jaw. She moaned out in pleasure as he hit the spot on her neck. He kissed down her shoulder, down to her stomach. He slowly slipped off the pants she was wearing and kissed down her legs. He made his way back up to her lips and kissed her with all the passion he could. She took her hands and undid the button on his jeans, watching him kick them off.

"I shouldn't have left." Troy said desperately, trying to make up for all the time he had been gone.

"I shouldn't have pushed you away." She said back, holding onto him for dear life.

He stopped and looked into her eyes. He saw how much pain he had caused her by leaving. He saw how much he had hurt her, even after he knew how much she was already hurting. And then he realized how selfish he had been. "I should have been there still." Troy said back, kissing her forehead.

"We both should have done a lot of things different." She said back, holding the back of his head, playing with the hairs on his neck, while he supported himself on his elbows above her.

"But me leaving didn't help anything." He said solemnly.

"No, it didn't." she said, only telling the truth of the matter. "But it did help me figure out what is important to me. What I should of done different. What mistakes I was making. What I put you through, that year after they died."

"I should of gone about it a different way. I just didn't know what to do. I was drafted to the Lakers right in the middle of this and I had to choose. And at that point in our lives, you were pushing me away and this was my dream. I had to choose, and every day I regret picking the one I did."

"But when you chose that, I should of followed you. I knew how much that meant to you but I couldn't bear leaving. I just wasn't st—" he cut her off by kissing her. He knew the point she was in, in her life, when he left. She didn't need to make excuses because he knew how unstable she was. He just couldn't stand pushing his dreams aside. And that was selfish of him.

"You don't need to apologize." He said softly.

"But I do" She argued. "I was the reason that you left the way you did. I was the reason this all occurred. We could have been happy, me moving out to LA. We could of made it work but I chose the difficult choice. I chose to stay behind. I blocked you out and you didn't deserve that."

"But you have me now." He said, kissing her once more.

"But I don't deserve you now." She said, looking in the direction of the window, not daring to look at him. A tear came out of her eye as she stared off in that direction. She didn't deserve him, she decided. She should of followed. She shouldn't have pushed him away.

"But you do." He said, bringing her to face him. "We can make this work. Trust me. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice" And in that moment, she looked into his cerulean eyes and saw how much truth he was speaking. He didn't want to lose her again and she could see that. She could see how much he loved her. And in that moment, she realized how lucky she was.

"God, do you know how much I love you?" she asked.

"Not as much as I love you." He said back, just as matter of fact.

And in that moment, the love they had for each other erupted. The missing feelings, the void in the hearts, were filling. They were finally returning to the two people who they used to be. Finally becoming more complete. Not as whole as they once were, but definitely more complete than they had been in the past year.

And like Shakespeare had always said "They course of true love never did run smooth." And that's what they were finally figuring out. But with each other, they could finally get through everything.

---

Okay, that was probably the worst thing I have ever written but I just needed to get it out. It probably has a lot of holes and mistakes in it but there ya go. Just a simple little oneshot I felt like writing. It probably is a little confusing as well but I hope you guys can figure it out. Honestly, the vision in my head is probably better than what came out on this document, but that's what I could deliver. I hope you guys like it. And hopefully the timeline isn't confusing as well. The title probably doesn't fit either, but I liked it.

And wow. I'm being too critical on this piece.

Anyways, now about 'This Is Your Life' me and Heat have been going through quite a lot these past few weeks or months and haven't been able to deliver what we set out to do. We really didn't know where to go after that last chapter and honestly, we haven't been trying to get it to what it needs to be. We really tried but our hearts haven't been into it, as sad as that is. But one day, we will get back to it, so we hope you guys aren't falling off the bandwagon.

Now onto better news OMG TODAY I WON TICKETS TO A SCREENING OF BANDSLAM. Although, I doubt I will be able to go because my parents planned a trip the day we are supposed to leave, but I still won so hopefully I can fulfill that prize. We will see. Anyways, thanks for reading guys! I hope you liked it.


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